The Lion and Gun

Among the many lessons this election holds for the GOP, arguably none is more important than this: It is no longer 1980. And some Republicans have clearly heeded the call. To them, it's 1994.

In their desperate search for new talent some prominent Republicans, including the Prince of Darkness himself, are embracing a man whose ideas were cutting edge when modems were measured in baud, geeks traded D&D for Doom II LAN parties, and The X-Files was still kind of cool. With the intellectual acuity of a hummingbird that smacks into a window, backs up, and does it again, these conservatives have turned to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich to lead them out of the wilderness. He is now making a play for leadership of the Republican National Committee and is emerging as one of the top Presidential contenders for 2012.

This is the sort of thing that makes a reasonable person seriously reconsider the wisdom of writing Sarah Palin off. For those of you who don't remember, Gingrich is the man who led Republicans to a stunning Congressional victory in 1994 with his much-vaunted Contract with America, then spent the next four years systematically destroying his own image and the Republican Party brand. A combination of political missteps, unpopular scandal-mongering, electoral losses, and rampant corruption led Gingrich to resign from the House in shame halfway through President Clinton's second term.

This is the new Republican hero. In 2012 he'll be 69 years old and eighteen years past his last original thought. Handing this guy the Republican banner would be really bad for the Republicans -- we're talking Cats bad. Which, I guess, is good for us. So, you know, cool.